Just Another Day in the McPhee House

Jon is currently working himself up into a fit. He is pacing in and out of the bedroom huffing and being angry. It’s all my fault. I undermined his fatherly authority when came back from my walk and asked if we all wanted to go for a walk around the neighborhood (a normal nightly routine). When I asked, he started whine-yelling at Caleb to get off the screen and let’s go. I said, “no stress, everything is good.” He then said ok and folded his arms like a child. Then when the Wii U wasn’t shutting down fast enough, he started in again, “Turn it off!” I defended Caleb and said, “it is!” That set him off.

The whole walk, Jon just huffed behind us in anger and stress. I ignored it because I don’t want to fight in front of Caleb. Caleb walked on and I asked him questions about his friends and such. Jon was still walking slow halfway through when I said, I love you! And hugged him. Caleb hugged him too and said, “Triangle of love!” I freaken love that kid. Jon started crying a bit. More out of stress than anything.

So now we are home, Jon just raged-gathered up the laundry and put it in the wash. He just told me “I’m going to go on a walk. Maybe that will help.” I asked him what is up? He said he’s fine. My two most hated words, I’m fine. I literally shot back, “no you’re not. What’s going on. It’s not me.” He said it wasn’t.

It is. I said I was sorry. He’s getting his pipe out right now to smoke.

I write this down to remind myself of what February was like. Just when I thought he was doing better. I can’t win.

I guarantee I'll have to do double duty of being his therapist and emotional regulator tonight. I don't want to be.